My last thread

They say that's the way its meant to be
I chose this path when I dipped into the honey jar
Whats sweet also is bitter
The bitter hurts as much as the sweet
The bleeding drips as freely as laughter

I am told that's the way it meant to be
let it take its path
I wonder is taking the path the only way to realization?
isn't there another way to realization
In this world is there only one path to realization
and in this world where favor has always been with me I feel like I can control it again
I have always controlled my outcomes

I've been told it hurts
I really don't believe
I don't know if I'd have done it with the knowledge I have now
I feel tied to a whipping chair
by my decisions, I agreed to this pain
love and pain seem inextricable
I feel like I can also control this outcome
I feel like I can separate love from pain

I know I can control what happens to me in life
This is in my power
I stutter at the precipice.....
My Achilles heel, the reluctance to shut the door completely
is the thread that weaves love to pain

Random firings of my brain

Sometimes when I utter my thoughts they seem incomprehensible because the phrases do not seem connected to each other. The thing is my brain processes thoughts like an automatic really fast so every word is connected but 10 steps ahead of the normal, so I think.

2 rounds of applause

Nowadays we must reserve 2 rounds of applause for politicians. When the politician says something the first round is given. When they execute it the second round is then give.

Sometimes I self destructed

Sometimes I self destructed
I roamed around like a raging bull
Destroying what took years to build
I had no control over the destruction or myself
I just had great frustration and anger

Today I have grabbed this bull by its horn
no more self destruct for me
No more exposure to those situations
I have every reason to continue building
And no reason to stop
Forgive my self destructing nature of the past
Today its no more because once you know your problem
then its over.
The bull has become an eagle
the termite has become an ant and building it will continue

I refuse to make this my rant for 2008 but oh well

I would like to revisit my bone of contention with the black community in Canada as a whole
We need to change!!! I believe I ranted last year about the same thing. I have taken my advice
I went to an all black semi-formal party. After a one year hiatus from these types of events, I was told the words that I hate to hear
“It is for the grown and mature"
Grown and mature my foot!!
I am beginning to believe the adage you can take them out of the hood but you can't take to hood out of them. (Actually the only way it can be done is through enlightenment)
I am not grown and mature but if what I saw was what grown and mature is expected to be, then I don't ever want to grow up!
The place was filled with all sorts of beautiful womens (obviously I didn't go there for guys), from the hood rats girls looking to hit the jackpot, to the educated also looking for an "educated black man"
First problem was, they all looked the same. Bloody dole out 200-300 dollars and buy yourself a bloody designer dress.
Then you can distinguish yourself. Shop in Yorkville, on Bloor Street, the 3rd floor of the Eaton centre every classy place you feel an inexplicable natural repulsion to. Maybe then we will see more black models on the runway because black people buy the expensive runway clothes. Open you mind!!! You don't all have to wear the dress Beyonce wore to be sexy, create YOUR own style. You don't have to wait till some guy takes you shopping, you have money spend it! Call it a social investment. When you do watch the calibre of guys that will step up to talk to you and tell me if it made a difference. Really, what do you do with your money?
You expect the guys to be on point with the expensive clothes so you can pick them out easily and yet you look the same as the hood rat next to you how on earth am I supposed to talk to you differently?
On the topic of speaking I think good conversation is important. Half these girls couldn't go further than saying their names!( it is a generalisation because obviously I didn't talk to half of the girls, probably wouldn't have made it to half.
Pick up a darn book and flip the pages, you don't have to read just flip the darn pages there might be pictures or an interesting paragraph. You are too busy keeping up appearances, appearances for who? For the “good man" I spit on the concept of "a good man". Most of these girls couldn't spot a good man if it would save their lives. The problem isn't that good guys don't approach them like they say. It’s just that their idea of a good man in conflict with reality.

Now I'm calm, I believe this is a disturbing fact, despite recent strides by Obama to put black people on the map (some may argue he's mixed but they didn't have that argument till he won the election). At a time where we should be breaking of the shackles of limitation and ascending in every realm including socially, most folk just are not ready to.
In my perspective to be ready, you must be willing to open your mind to meeting different people from different backgrounds, traveling the world, reading books and learning from all these as you go.
There is a void in this department. There is an apparent lack of social role models in the social department. So that the role models that exist at the moment should really be students in that department.
I'm not a social model but I have tried to explore various social circles and I know what I don't want my social model to be. These all black parties are nice and give people a chance to look and feel good. We cannot end there we must visit the "white clubs" and listen to their music, the Asian clubs, the Indian clubs. We must conform to the culture of other ethnicities when we are in their zone if we expect them to conform to ours in our zone. “When in Rome act like the Romans"
We cannot expect to grow and learn if we go to party with the same set of people and with people of our same race all the time.
I don't want you to like me... I know there is one person for me and all this nonsense serves as an extra confirmation.
I don't expect anyone to take this calmly I actually expect an internal revolt for change. Some might feel the need to defend themselves please go ahead feel free. I am open to learn.

My thoughts on leadership inspered by Astiz , Mugabe, Nixon

The reward of leadership is the affection of their followers
Some in attempting to become leaders and stay leaders forget this
The things they do to become leaders and stay leaders alienate them from the affection of their followers
When they finally achieve their aims, they would have succeeded in scarring and alienating those whose affection they sought.
It is now a worthless pursuit because there is no prize at the end

Woe is me for I am unloved

I figured I have to blurb before all my pieces, it looks short and simple but deeper than it seems on the surface to me anyways,

Woe is me for I am unloved,
I did it all
I spoke to her when I first saw her,
I called like I was supposed to,
I listened, I cared, I hugged, I cuddled, I kissed
Just the way the routine said
Now I'm outside the door and he's in the bedroom
I wonder to myself...
how after doing this dance, did I end up on this side of the door ?
why did I follow the routine in the first place?
If I was on the other side of the door would I still feel loved?